Protecting Our Wounds

Hi, Ladies. It is October. I still want to believe it is summer, but it isn't. It is fall, which always seems to me just a brief pause before winter hits.
Recently, Delton and I had a "just had to laugh" moment, which ended up in the Pastor's Pulpit he wrote for the Waynesboro Record Herald. I asked him if I could share it with you...Here it is, in his words....

Wounded Hands are Hard to Hold

by Delton Lehman

Is there anything more natural and easy than holding hands? A right hand and left hand seemed to be made to fit together, whether you are simply cupping them together or interlocking fingers they simply fit.

Except when they don't.

The other day my wife and I were in the van heading to a since forgotten destination, when, as is often our habit, we reached over to hold hands as we talked and drove. Now, I had recently taken a spill when trying to escape being tackled by one of my boys, leaving a patch of my palm in our yard. So, as our hands embraced I simply, almost unconsciously, adjusted our hold to protect my sore palm. My wife moved her hand back. I simply moved my hand again to a more pain free position. She moved her hand back. Finally I informed her of my reason for adjusting my hand - that I was trying to protect my hurt palm. To which she replied that she was trying to protect her sore finger!

This experience has become a clear picture to me of what happens in so many relationships. Have you ever found that what should be 'natural' - a dating relationship, planning a family vacation, or simply sharing with a friend the events of our day, can becomes awkward and frustrating! Why? Because we are all trying to protect a wound, often doing so unconsciously. It's not on our hands, but on our hearts. And many times our efforts to protect that wound causes pain for others, who in turn act in self protection, to which we respond....

A husband withdraws in fear of rejection, 'touching' his wife's fear of abandonment so she becomes nagging and clingy. He withdraws more...

A son lashes out in rebellion, feeling misunderstood and manipulated. Dad and mom, driven by a sense of failing as parents, counter with increased control. He rebels all the more...

A young woman, unsure of her worth, pushes herself for perfection and is infuriated by the slightest criticism, causing friends to become distant. Feeling more insecure, she pushes herself harder...

And so our crazy dance spins while we wonder why things seem so hard.

Wounded hands are hard to hold. Yet, there is one person with wounded hands that will not draw away from us in self-protection - Jesus Christ. He doesn't hide his wounded hands, rather extends them to us declaring that "by His wounds we are healed." (Isaiah 53:5) Our sin has wounded Him greatly. But His love, displayed in His death and resurrection, is extended to cover our sin. When you find yourself completely and securely held in His hands, hiding gives way to transparency, self-consciousness to selflessness, a guarded spirit to a generous spirit.

Allow His wounded hands to heal you, so you can be free to extend your hand to others.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(charity again...) I see this playing out in ways in my life. In my insecurity, I can't imagine that people would want to take time out of their busy schedules to get together with me...so, I fail to mention to my sister that I will be in her hometown for the day.  And I wound her. In my hurt, I pull away...an endless cycle, unless we allow truth...healing...forgiveness to begin to direct our encounters. An endless cycle, unless we allow God to break it. 

We will be getting together at Charlene's home this coming Tuesday (October 8th) evening from 7-9 p.m. for our usual LIFT time. Laughter, hot drinks, and good fellowship! What fun! 

Two thoughts have been on my mind for this time together.

~ Did Delton's words stir anything in you? How have you seen this play out in your life? How have you found healing and health?

~There is a song I have been thinking about, Follow You Into the World by Leeland. Here are the lyrics. and here is the video. I know each of us has different passions, a heart for different ministries, different ways that we feel God calling us to meet the needs of the hurting. Let's take some time to share what is on our heart. Bring any brochures, newsletters, update letters, flyers, and let's take the opportunity to share with others the ministries/mission that God has placed on our heart or is calling us into. 

I look forward to getting together with you, and sharing life together. 

Blessings...

Charity

Poison Thoughts

"For most of my life," Joyce Meyer writes in Battlefield of the Mind, "I didn't think about what I was thinking about. I simply thought whatever fell into my head. I had no revelation that Satan could inject thoughts into my mind. Much of what was in my head was either lies that Satan was telling me or just plain nonsense, things that really were not worth spending my time thinking about. The devil was controlling my life because he was controlling my thoughts." (quote found in Having a Mary Spirit,  by Joanna Weaver)
I had a battle with my mind yesterday. I fought for truth as little lies poked and prodded, stung and pierced. While at the park with the three youngest children last evening, the battle began. Delton just told you he was going dove hunting this evening. He hardly even asked if that was okay with you. Harmless enough thoughts, really. Just mulling over what really happened, right? The intensity increased. Why does he get to spend all evening doing a hobby? What gives him the right to simply spring this change of plans on me? I couldn't do that to him, because I am responsible for the kids. I am stuck. He is free. That isn't fair... and so my thought continued. Really, it was an insidious lie, surrounded by truth. Delton had pretty abruptly decided to spend the evening out hunting, leaving me to decide how to entertain the kids during our usual "family time". I am mature, though. Or so my thoughts tried to convince me. I won't get angry or bitter. No. But really, this isn't right. This shouldn't be. This hurts. What if he starts doing this all the time? I need to talk to him about this. Express my hurt. Express the unfairness of what he did to me. 
And then, because this is a familiar pattern for me, I realized the path I was quickly headed down. The self-pity. The mountain-out-of-a-molehill drama queen reaction. As my flesh nestled in, secure in battle victory, I began fighting back with a higher truth.A love-covered truth. Delton just bought that gun today, a gun he has been waiting years to purchase. He is excited, and he knows I am excited for him. He took Ezra with him, and willingly would have taken Asher as well. Delton is an awesome dad who just spent the morning (as he does EVERY THURSDAY morning) watching our kids so that I can get out by myself. And as I turned my heart towards love, as I remained on high-alert, aware of the thoughts that were threatening to undermine my love for Delton, as I continued speaking truth to my heart, the battle was won. At his return this evening, Delton would not find a fuming, tight-lipped wife. His heart would not be frozed by the dreaded phrase, "we need to talk." By God's grace, Delton would return home to a wife who was an overflowing vessel of God's grace and love.
Poison thoughts, I found myself calling them. Thoughts with enough truth to them that we easily allow ourselves the luxury of mulling over them. She didn't return my phone call. He ignored me. He didn't do this or that even though HE KNOWS how I feel about that...and so on. And then we continue down the road that leads to where all sin leads...destruction. Yes, sin. When our thought lives are not in subjection to Christ, we are walking in sin.
I am learning to listen to my thoughts, and to take them captive. Not simply "trying not to think about it", but actively speaking God's truth into the situation that is replaying itself. Praying blessing on those I would rather judge. Forgiving those who have not lived up to my standards. Loving others, even in my thoughts, as God loves them. Because, really, we are what we think. If I think bitter thoughts, I become bitter (really....I know this from experience). Don't think, don't convince yourself, that you can fill your mind with thoughts of judgment, self-pity, pain, how-could-they thoughts, and not reap the consequences.
I am writing this as I see it played out in my life in several major areas. This minor "irritation" with Delton is nothing compared to the battles that have played out in my mind over the last months, as I have been aware more than ever of how closely related my spirit and mind are. As I turn my thoughts over to God, asking Him to change them when I am unable to change them myself, when I have no desire to choose love, as I simply throw myself on His mercy to do what I cannot, He changes the lifeless gray battleground into a fragrant field of blooming flowers. A sunrise filled horizon. A glory-bathed display of God being God in my life. Relationships are free to flourish. I am free to grow. Broken situations become His responsibility and I am released to live with joy rather than judgment.
The battlefield of the mind. It is real. Let's "take captive every thought" (2 Corinthians 10:5). There is a glory to be revealed in each of us that will never be revealed if the core of who we are has been handed over to the enemy. Let's allow God to rule and reign in every area of our life, beginning even with our thought life.

Earthquake

When was the last time you were pressed by circumstances...and were surprised at what came out of you?
When was the last time you were hurt...and were shocked at the heat of your response?
When was the last time you cried deeply, or shouted, or withdrew, or turned again to the sin you thought you had banished?
I am discovering fault lines in my life...cracks within that are openings for the enemy, openings for lies to enter and dwell. I have been pressed lately, and I am seeing what lay dormant in my heart for years. Yuck! And yet, I can embrace the pain. It hurts good, you might say, because my desire is to be like Christ. My desire is to be transparent. Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place. Psalm 51:6. My inmost places have the capacity to be sin-riddled as long as they remain hidden, unknown by those around me. Sometimes, a mystery even to me. Until...the pressing comes. The hurt shocks. The misunderstanding takes my breathe away.
This fault line, this weakness, this unredeemed portion of my inner (wo)man, is revealed in the hard time. I have cried a lot over recent situations, many of them. Had many one-sided conversations. Been the "right" one in many daydreams. And realized that there is a root here that God is bringing to the surface in His infinite daddy-love. There is a lot of lie in my inner parts that only He, the truth-giver, can reveal.
I want the lie, the hurt, the shame, the brokenness to be removed. There is so much of life to be lived...a life that is good!! I live a different life when I allow my hurt to be the author of each day. God is the author of life...let's allow Him to do what He desires in each of us, then sit back and watch Him write GLORY over each moment of our lives. Our lives, lived in truth, for His glory.
That when pressed, we bleed love.
That when hurt, we offer grace.
That when the tears come, they bathe our soul and the offender in the love of the Healer.
This is my desire.

Failure to Thrive

Yikes. What a title to this post, and yet lately I have felt like that label described me and everything that I put my hand to. A clean house (failure). Time with God (failure). Eating well (failure). Updating this blog (failure). I have known that God is bigger than my actions, but when I stumble, when perfection eludes me....perhaps messages that I am most familiar with are most likely to begin playing in my mind in times like these.
I am done with A Confident Heart. Finished. Besides the fact that I lost it twice, I gleaned from it what I could, and am ready to move on. I believe there is a lot in that book that I still need to learn (re-read the above paragraph if you question that) but somehow I lost focus. For me to continue to post, to continue to be fed and pour that out in this blog, I needed to find another tool. Do you mind?
It is amazing how failure, hurt, mistakes, whatever it is, keep us from walking in what God wants for us. Even in me not knowing how to say...I am done with this book I chose!...I pulled away, kept silent, and put way too much time into feeling broken when there is a whole God-life to be lived. You, me, and those around us...He delights in us, and that delight moves us toward Him, moves us into the dance He has composed for each of us. It is through truth, though, not lies, that we enter into all He has for us. Through our true identity as daughters of the King. Beloved. Redeemed. Restored.
We are 6 months into 2013. What has this year been like for you? What have you learned? What has been restored? What has been broken? It is good for me to review these questions and to once again re-focus on the God who is calling me...even when I have trouble hearing His voice.
His word, His blessings, His promises assure us that we are loved, and the purposes and plans He has for us are still being completed. So, no more "failure to thrive" diagnosis, okay? No walking in self-prescribed labels. He said that in Him we live and move and have our being and that doesn't sound anything like failure to thrive!!

Some thoughts to ponder...

Hi, Ladies! Here are some thoughts from Rhoda as she has been reading and processing "A Confident Heart."

Ladies/Sisters
I have had these thoughts turning in my mind for weeks... So at last I am putting them down to share with you...

I started out reading a chapter every week or so of our book "A Confident Heart" in January but then... well ... Here it is May and I am at Chapter 6!  I find it is worth pressing on even at this slow rate.

In Chapter 5... "Living Beyond the Shadow of My Doubts" I found the the last paragraph on page 89 to capture my attention.  I quote:
    "When doubt washes over me, often it is because something has happened to trigger my old             emotions and create thoughts in my mind that are similar to those I had as a child.  Sometimes         that hurt little girl still has too much say in my heart.  If I listen to her, powerful yet immature             emotions from my past rise to the surface.  But they are not truth in my life.  The insecurities             from your past are not the truth in your life either.  ...."I realize I have been dealing with this very issue of past hurts that my little girl wants to put as current truth.  In order to move beyond I found I needed to take what Renee has said a step further.   In processing the past  the "little girl"  needed to be heard, validated and then have the Lord tell her the truth in order to move on to healing.  If we just "don't listen to the little girl" we are just suppressing the hurt and it will keep resurfacing.  The Lord is so gracious to help us look at our past and reveal what is truth so that we are able to move on to live with "a confident heart"!

Now on to Chapter 6 where I will learn to "get my good enough from Jesus"!!  And this is so timely for me as well! 

Learning to enjoy the journey to wholeness!
Rhoda Lehman
~~~~Charity again....I have been thinking about A Confident Heart recently....thinking about it, yet not reading it. It is always hard for me to pick up a book once I haven't read it for a while...yet this is a book that contains a message I need. So, I am going to pick up the book again this week, scan the chapter titles, and choose one that catches my eye. Maybe I will do this again next week, too. So, if like me you have lost momentum in reading, don't worry. Just go at your own pace, do what works for you...and let me know what ministers to you through your reading.

I need You to love me...

Some days, a song will draw me in, in a way it never has before. I will suddenly hear the familiar lyrics, and truly listen for the first time.
This morning I saw the cover of my journal where I had inked in the four themes for the ladies group this year.

Your past does not define you.

You don't have to walk in shame.

God can redeem the story of your life.

God has a beautiful purpose and plan for your life.

 

I didn't want to say anything about this theme because...well...haven't we moved on? Forgetting the past and pressing on to what lies ahead?

Yes. I am not who I once was.

And no...there are some days when I once again need to run headlong into my Father's embrace and hear the reassurance of His love without end.

It is on a day like today that I heard this song, a song that may perhaps be the cry of your heart. May it remind you that you are loved. Deeply......

 

I Need You To Love Me (Barlow Girls)

Thinking about Tuesday...

Hi~

What a beautiful day! Delton tells me it is nice outside, but the temperature on my indoor/outdoor thermometer is enought to keep me inside, socks on, drinking tea.

Delton and I- and Avi- got away this week to a CenPeCo meeting. While Avi slept one morning, I had time to read A Confident Heart. This time whet my appetite, making me wish I had hours and hours to study, journal, pray through, and assimilate all that I read...then craft a deep, hard-hitting, tear inducing blog to express just what you need to hear. I can't give them what they need. Someone else would do a better job at this... Can you tell that I need this book?

I am halfway through chapter 6- When Doubt Whispers "I'm Not Good Enough". I was aware of some areas where the enemy had a foothold in my life, where the familiar whispers of doubt continued to plague me. Yet, in reading these pages, and taking the time to listen to the whisper of the Spirit, I realized there were some deeper lies that I had been walking in. Deeper areas, more central to the core of who I am.

In other words, I was used to fighting off the enemy's lies about my worth based on how clean my house is or how I am doing with my eating...but this time I saw that these lies were just a shadow of some deeper lies. Lies about how I saw myself, lies about what situations in childhood had destroyed in me...It is hard to describe, and I don't have a complete handle on what I discovered...but I believe that I am on a journey toward hearing only the voice of the Beloved...a voice that has been drowned out by the voice of the enemy, by my own pain and regret.

I don't like the image of being broken, because life has taught me that items, once broken,  can never be fully restored. Yet, placing my life in the hands of the Master Potter, my Creator, gives me the assurance of safety. Break me, shatter me, mold me and make me...I place my life in your hands, to do with me as You desire.

~~~These are my thoughts, from my journey. We started out reading this book to journey together, to walk together into healing, into a better understanding of the Love of our soul. Tuesday evening we come together again at Charlene's house. Once again, we will enjoy some food and laughter (always laughter!!), and also an opportunity to hear more of the hears of the women we are walking alongside. Each of you has a story, a journey, a hope and a future.

Would you still come if I asked you to talk for a few minutes? Would you feel safe enough to share what these last few months have meant to you?

Please come. Please feel safe. Please ask God what He would have you share- the wisdom each of us will get only through each other.

 Until I see you again...blessings...

Charity

Different Season, Same Distractions

Some thoughts from Louise...

I don't know about things being much different no matter what season we are in concerning what time of day we spend with the Lord. I am in a different season than you, but I still find that I need to spend that time with the Lord early in the morning or it just don't get done. Otherwise other things clamor for my attention and it never happens. Besides I find that when I do that, then I have the Lord's strength to face the earthly challenges of the day. Also helps to keep me focused on the Lord's presence with me. Just sharing my thoughts from my experience.

and a comment from Karen...

I agree Louise, that is an advantage of being in the season we are in how about it.


I enjoy hearing from those who have already walked the road I am on! Thank you ~Charity

Distractions

I yelled at my phone this afternoon, right as Delton yelled at the computer. I had to laugh. This wonderful thing we call technology is not always a blessing. Rhoda recently sent me some thoughts on the subject, and I am sure we can all relate! ~Charity

From Rhoda...

 

 

Sisters in the journey,

I am responding to an earlier email from Renee Swope...

I checked my email as soon as I woke up. Then I made breakfast and checked it again. Had my devotional time and checked it again. Ran some errands and checked it on my phone. When I got home, I checked it once more.

I sensed the Holy Spirit nudging me to pause and ask myself, “Why do you keep checking your email?”

I wasn’t sure if it was God or me answering, but my thoughts intertwined with His Spirit whispered: You keep coming back because your heart longs for connection with a friend.

Yet no matter how many times I checked email, it was never enough to satisfy my craving....

..... I realized I’d let the pendulum swing too far and now I was checking email repeatedly, trying to fill a God-created need for relationships with a white screen and black alphabet keys.

My mind keeps remembering these words from Renee Swope as it keeps speaking to my heart as I navigate a life filled with "electronic sirens" calling for my attention (namely email, facebook, text and internet ). These tools keep me connected with grandchildren, friends, prayer requests and good Bible teachers; but how do I keep a balance in my life with real relationships? I am pressing in to being more sensitive to God's nudging on how to live this out.

Rhoda

~~~~~~~~~~~
A week or so ago, Amy sent me this email in response to my last post. It flows along with Rhoda's comments...

Charity, I too have days when I don't feel God as near and others where His presence just envelops me as I go about my daily routine. Some of that may have to do with my human ness and the fickleness of our emotions, hormones, etc. :) But I find, a big part of it for me, is with what I am saturating my mind. My thoughts, values, priorities, self esteem, joy, and peace are SO much determined by how much time I spend with God. I recently saw this quote....

and it really spoke to me.... I spent such a large part of my life being manipulated by the Devil and his lies and I didn't even recognize them. But now, if I find myself feeling confused, condemned, rushed, pushed, etc. I cry out to God and (in my mind) rebuke the devil, because I am NOT falling for his lies again.

I heard a sermon recently in which the evangelist said something to the effect of..... did you know the devil doesn't necesssarily hate us? The reason he is out for our damnation is because it is his (the devil's) best way to get at God, because we are what God loves the most! We are God's prize possession and the Devil is desperate to take us from God - by lying, maniputing, causing division, and on and on and on and on......

looking forward to seeing you sunday :), amy

~~~~~~
Prioritizing my time has been on my mind lately. Very simply, I sense a simple directive to seek God first. For me, this means reading my Bible and praying before anything else gets done in my quiet time. Before I check my schedule, read a blog, check facebook, respond to emails, call my mom or any other good thing, I first need to open my Bible and take time to talk to God. This is a unique season of life for me...I may only have a few minutes uninterrupted each day. If I don't first seek God, the moment is gone and so is my chance to be refreshed in my spirit. In another season, I may have hours of quiet where it may not matter whether my time with God comes first, second or third. Just a simple way that God is telling me that my time with Him is important to Him, and He is giving me the direction I need to make time with Him happen! Blessing to you today!! See you Sunday! ~Charity

Hearing in the Silence

I wrote the last post at the end of a long day. I felt bombarded, exhausted by a day fighting my old patterns, my own coping mechanisms. How do I break free from all I have ever walked in?
The next morning, somehow, God broke in. I read from Song of Solomons that I am the beloved of my Beloved. That I have ravished the heart of the One who seeks me.
As I pondered these thoughts from scripture, and the truth of what I had been reading in A Confident Heart,  I saw that my mind was full of many voices. I was unable to hear the call of the Bridegroom. I was listening to and agreeing with the lies of the enemy. No wonder I was lost!
Yesterday and today, my prayer has been, "God, let me hear only your voice." Over and over, morning, noon, and night, in the good moments and the bad, I am praying to hear only His voice. I am asking for silence in my spirit so that I may hear His whisper. I am asking for an unsatisfied hunger...a hunger that is awaiting the source of all fulfillment.
The previous post was written in faith. This post comes from one who has seen a glimpse of the One for whom her soul longs...

He speaks

   I listen

He calls

   I respond

He asks

   I assent

He draws

   I come

He sings

   I dance

He loves

      I worship 

 

I have been blessed by this song as I ponder the journey we are on.

Until Sunday, blessings. ~Charity

When I fail

It's not if I fail. It is when I fail. Daily. Even moment by moment. The little failures, the big failures...they combine to weigh me down.

When I am soaking in God's Word, carrying my burdens to Him, allowing Him to reveal to me my true worth...these failures are quickly forgotten, removed from me "as far as the east is from the west." And there are times and seasons that I walk in this close relationship with my Creator, that I sense His drawing, that I walk in His peace.

And there are times and seasons where I forget who I am. When God brings to the surface new levels of healing needed, and I am lost for a time. Needing God, yet blindly trying to find my own way.

It is to this sense of blindness, this inner "lost", that Renee speaks to in Chapter 3: Finding Love That Won't Fail Even When I Do. There are several quotes that stood out to me as I read...I will let Renee do the speaking...

Quotes from A Confident Heart, chapter 3

God is "the unconditional love you are looking for."

Until our hearts find complete security and significance in God's unconditional love, we will never be satisfied.

God put a longing for unfailing love in our hearts because He knew it would lead us back to Him. Only God's unfailing love will fill and fulfill the desires of our hearts. It is the deepest thirst of our souls. Until God's love is enough, nothing else will be.

Jesus invited her (Sam, the Samaritan woman) to worship Him in Spirit by offering to pour the living water of His Spirit into the well of her heart, filling the empty places in her soul.

By being honest about her life and the lies she believed, (Sam) could start turning toward the truth. She could bring the thirst of her heart to Him. Only then would she find confidence in the power of His love and start living in the security of His promises.

If we are doing well, we feel fulfilled. If we are not doing well, we feel empty and life we have less worth.

It's almost as though we wake up every morning with an empty jar, like Sam, and walk around holding it out to people or things, hoping they will fill us. We look to ___________________ to define us.

The wells of our hearts were created to be filled by God alone. The deepest thirst of our soul can only be quenched by Him.

So what do we do when our hearts start tossing and turning with emptiness and uncertainty? We need to stop and ask Jesus to help us see the worth we are placing in other things and the worth we are seeking in other people.

___________________________
This chapter reminded me (Charity) that I can not fix my brokenness. That the areas of hurt, the ways I seek to drown my pain, are areas where I need God. I look forward to reading more in the chapter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How far should you be in the book by now? I hope that this book is a blessing to each of you, and that you are reading it in the way that works best for you. I will post weekly (hopefully) as I read another chapter (hopefully)...but feel free to read this on your own schedule.

I began this blog hoping that it would facilitate an ongoing conversation among the women of the church. I invite you (and beg you :) please let us know how this book is stirring you, the journey you are on, thoughts that come to you as you read, quotes that ministered to you...and anything else that would be a blessing to those in our Lifegate family...from this book or in your own devotional life. Send me an email, and I will post it to this blog. Until we have a chance to laugh together again...blessings!

~Charity

Chapter 2: Sam

I am almost finished with chapter 2. This is a bit of what I journaled as I read...

 In reading this chapter, I discovered that Sam was not who I pictured her to be.

 I had always imagined Sam (a.k.a. the Samaritan woman) as a loose woman who still had a bit of allure, a bit of mystery to her.

And yet, in a culture that considered divorce shameful, this woman had been discarded not once but 5 times. Five men, each a bit less honorable than the last, had taken her, used her, then publicly rejected her. She slides farther into her sin, and the gulf between she and her accusers grows ever wider.

I saw a modern-day Sam in the grocery store today. After listening in on my conversation with another woman, Sam began talking to me. "I have 3 kids and I'm pregnant with my 4th." I look at her and can't help wondering how many different men fathered her children. She looks older than her years, rough, wearing pajama pants and a hoodie. She talks to the man she is with in a nervous giggle, as if their relationship isn't secure...

And I see in her the face of the Samaritan woman. A women on the fringes of the society. Disdained by her community. Rejected by the upstanding religious men and their proper wives.

And Jesus had to go through Samaria. He was drawn to Sam as greatly as others were repelled by her. He sought her out as no one had ever sought her out.

To the rough, rejected, reviled soul, he offered Himself. Her brokenness led him to her. Her hurt was covered by the Healer.

I imagine a modern day retelling of this story...a story where Jesus had to go to Glenwood. When I, like the disciples, look askance at Jesus while he glories in his beloved daughter, while he ignores me and my self-righteousness and looks at this modern day Sam with eyes of love that break her. That change her...that speak of belonging, of her infinite worth...

I haven't finished this chapter yet, but I have been thinking about this story a lot. What does the love of the Saviour for the broken mean to you?

A Confident Heart, Chapter One

Have you started A Confident Heart yet? I finished chapter one today. I had read half of the book several months ago, but started over. Trying to read slowly. I am glad I took the time. I have a renewed excitement about going through this book with you.
There are three thoughts that appear to form Renee Swope's foundation for the book:

~God's Word changes us, so we need to study His Word (Rms. 12:2)

~We most clearly know God's will as revealed in His words in Scripture...which is why praying through the scriptures is a great idea.(1John 5:14)

~Faith comes by hearing, Romans 10:17 says, so Renee urges us to pray the words of Scripture out loud.

Study His Word. Pray His Word. Speak His Word.

Okay. I can do that.

The study questions were a blessing, a chance to ponder what I have just read, to look back on my life and see the patterns of doubt influencing my decisions. Good stuff. I look forward to chapter two.

If you aren't doing the study with us, feel free to keep reading these posts and checking reneeswope.com. There is some good information that will be a blessing to you even apart from the book, and it will keep us all on the same page as we learn and grow together.

If you would like a book, just let me know and I will get one to you!

Tuesday night is our time together at Big Oak. 7 p.m. Last year, we sat outside from March through September or October. Can you believe that? I have a feeling this year the warm weather may not come so early. To switch things up a bit, and allow for more intimate conversation, let's sit at smaller tables and booths Tuesday night...gathering in threes, fours and fives. We can get to know each other more. Want to go deeper? Here are some questions from the book to discuss with each other...Has insecurity ever kept you from doing something? Describe what happens in your heart as you read the promises of God.

This is a good journey we are on. Not a journey to be a better Christian, but a journey into the heart of a God who delights in each of us and desires for us to know Him as He knows each of us. Good stuff. :)

Days like Today

That's it...I am not reading A Confident Heart. I blew it. Again. I wrestled with God, and my will, my sin won. I am dealing with my regret, dealing with my fears over what God thinks of me. Forget becoming a confident woman of God. I am just trying to keep my head above water.
Maybe I am the only one who has days like today. Maybe not. I do know that I am treading water, hard, looking for a way out of my defeat. Seeking to know that my Heavenly Father loves me despite my crumbling, faltering, broken walk.
 I look ahead in the book.

Chapter 2: Because God's love is perfect, I don't have to be.

Chapter 3: Finding Love that won't fail even when I do.

And I realize that there is hope. Not because I am strong enough to save myself. No. My hope is found when I realize that there is a God I can run to, or who will find me when I am too scared, too broken to run to Him.

I will keep reading, keep learning, and keep seeking the God who will never let me go. Even on days like today.

"You stay there. I'll come to you"

 

 

A story that puts this in perspective...

http://www.christianitytoday.com/iyf/faithandlife/christianclassics/15.66.html?start=1 

Simply walking...

Have you ever walked into something, only to realize God was leading in ways you never could have imagined? Here is evidence of God's leading in the lives of you and I...

As women, we will be reading A Confident Heart over the next few months. The books are on their way. In preparation for receiving the books, I went online to the author's blog, reneeswope.com. Here's what I discovered.

Although Renee published her book last year, she waited until now to start an online bible study and interactive community of women gathering to study this book together. This study begins February 1st. Two days from today.

What does this mean? It means that as you and I as Lifegate Ladies study this book, we are entering into a community of other women doing the same study at the same time. We have the benefit of weekly emails from Renee. It means, to me, that God has something for you and I in this that only He can orchestrate.

The details from Renee Swope's website...

A Confident Heart Online Study

When: February 2013

What’s Needed: A copy of the book, a notebook, a Bible, and a ready-for-God- to-do-a-new-thing in you attitude!

What To Expect: I’ll send an email with our reading plan and assignments for the week each Monday, and then post here on my website/blog about the topic of the chapter 2-3 times that week. We’ll interact and share our thoughts together here, too. And I’ll have some guest posts, plus FREE video teaching segments, as well as music videos and more.

How to Sign Up: See that “Receive Email Updates” box in the sidebar? Please enter your email there and be sure to confirm your subscription.That way you will be notified when more details for my online study are available.

At Your Convenience: Because we’ll meet online, you can check in at your convenience any time of the day and week.

 Interested? Follow this link http://reneeswope.com/online-biblebook-study/

 

I look forward to diving in to this study with you. If you are interested in a book and haven't talked to me, let me know. There is no cost!

 

Have a wonderful day today... and if you need a smile...here you go!

 





Seeing through God's eyes...

A beautiful reminder...follow this link to watch the video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEFNQE76Us4

What do you see when you peer into the telescope? God's not finished with you yet.

A Confident Heart

Hi, Ladies. The previous post explained the heart of our women's ministry focus for this coming year. Along with our monthly Tuesday  nights together, I would like to make a book available for you to read over the next several months.
A Confident Heart, by Renee Swope, is about "How to stop doubting yourself and live in the security of God's promises". Something that caught my attention was the title to Chapter 4: "God promises hope for my future despite the pain of my past". Follow the link, check it out, and let me know if you would like a copy. I will be placing an order next Friday.
A Confident Heart has study questions at the end of each chapter. As we answer these questions, I pray that God will begin to reveal His love and His purposes to us.

So, text, call, fb...even talk to me in person! Just let me know you want a copy. I am excited about beginning this study with you.

This year...

Welcome to Something*Sweet, a blog to communicate what is happening in the life of the women at Lifegate. I will share through this blog, but I hope you will share as well.

We met together several weeks ago at Charlene's house. Nine of us were there, and I shared a little bit of where we were headed this year in our times together. With a bit of fear and trembling...here are my notes from that evening...

Something * Sweet

First, does anyone know why this year's theme is “something sweet”?

The story of Samson is found in the book of Judges. Samson was going to a town to meet a potential bride. On the way, a young lion attacked him. The spirit of the Lord came on him, and he easily killed the lion. After some time passed, Samson returned to that spot to see what had become of the lion. There in the carcass of the lion was a bee hive, and honey. Samson eats some honey, and goes on to form a riddle out what he had found:

Out of the eater came something to eat

And out of the strong came something sweet.

Out of death came life. Out of pain came health. Out of brokenness came something that delighted. Out of a life destroying act came “something sweet”.

I want to set this year aside to discover the “something sweet” that God wants to bring forth in each of our lives. Many of us...can I say all of us...have a past that includes pain, disappointment, regret, sin, neglect, abuse, difficult memories, and shame. There are four truths I believe God wants us to walk in during 2013:

Your past does not have to define you.

You don't have to walk in shame

God can redeem the story of your life

God has a beautiful purpose and plan for your life.

These thoughts are very personal to me, because they are truths that I am still seeking to believe for myself. This year has been birthed out of the journey God is taking me on...and I would love to have you come along on that journey.

Last year, I finally voiced to Delton something that I believed...God was done with me, I was finished, I was simply existing until death took me out of the picture. There was no purpose and plan for me.

As a 5 year old, I had been playing doctor with another child. He exposed himself to me before the “game” ended, but the seed of that experience formed me. I remember sitting in my second grade classroom feeling delighted with life when the memory of that experience returned, flooding me with intense shame.

That shame was my companion throughout my childhood and formative teen years years. I was broken...I was shameful...If anyone ever found out....

It wasn't until my early 20's that I told anyone about this. I had already realized, to some extent, that this childhood encounter was normal, something experienced by countless children. It was what I believed, what the enemy told me, about who I was as a result of this, that shattered my spirit, that separated me from the peace of God, that broke so many areas of my soul.

It was the layers of lies that led me to believe that God was finished with me, that I was irreparably broken. Once I spoke those words, God set me free from the belief, and is taking me on a journey where I deeply believe that my past does not have to define me, I don't have to walk in shame, God can redeem the story of my life, and God has a beautiful purpose and plan for my life.

There is still sorrow in my for the years I lost, wondering who I would be if the core part of me had not been shattered, walled off, closed down. This lies I believed about my worth based on this childhood experience not only brought me shame, it allowed me to walk into areas of sin that added to my shame. Layer upon layer of guilt and regret.

I read a quote recently: Faith requires that you trust God that He is at work in your life, even in the failures and hardships. I find it much easier to believe that God is at work in the difficulties thrown at me (loss of job, sick children, family trouble), but struggle to believe that God wants to work through the things I did, that God could love someone who experienced all I experienced...

My desire is to get to the point where I can believe with all my heart Philippians 1:6

Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.

We are being completed. The sculpture of our lives is still in the hands of the craftsman. We are still on the potter's wheel. And this potter, this craftsman, is the lover of our souls.

This year, this is the journey I hope to take with you. Will you walk with me as I walk with you?