Welcome to Something*Sweet, a blog to communicate what is happening in the life of the women at Lifegate. I will share through this blog, but I hope you will share as well.
We met together several weeks ago at Charlene's house. Nine of us were there, and I shared a little bit of where we were headed this year in our times together. With a bit of fear and trembling...here are my notes from that evening...
Something
* Sweet
First,
does anyone know why this year's theme is “something sweet”?
The
story of Samson is found in the book of Judges. Samson was going to a
town to meet a potential bride. On the way, a young lion attacked
him. The spirit of the Lord came on him, and he easily killed the
lion. After some time passed, Samson returned to that spot to see
what had become of the lion. There in the carcass of the lion was a
bee hive, and honey. Samson eats some honey, and goes on to form a
riddle out what he had found:
Out
of the eater came something to eat
And
out of the strong came something sweet.
Out
of death came life. Out of pain came health. Out of brokenness came
something that delighted. Out of a life destroying act came
“something sweet”.
I
want to set this year aside to discover the “something sweet”
that God wants to bring forth in each of our lives. Many of us...can
I say all of us...have a past that includes pain, disappointment,
regret, sin, neglect, abuse, difficult memories, and shame. There are
four truths I believe God wants us to walk in during 2013:
Your
past does not have to define you.
You
don't have to walk in shame
God
can redeem the story of your life
God
has a beautiful purpose and plan for your life.
These
thoughts are very personal to me, because they are truths that I am
still seeking to believe for myself. This year has been birthed out
of the journey God is taking me on...and I would love to have you
come along on that journey.
Last
year, I finally voiced to Delton something that I believed...God was
done with me, I was finished, I was simply existing until death took
me out of the picture. There was no purpose and plan for me.
As
a 5 year old, I had been playing doctor with another child. He
exposed himself to me before the “game” ended, but the seed of
that experience formed me. I remember sitting in my second grade
classroom feeling delighted with life when the memory of that
experience returned, flooding me with intense shame.
That
shame was my companion throughout my childhood and formative teen
years years. I was broken...I was shameful...If anyone ever found
out....
It
wasn't until my early 20's that I told anyone about this. I had
already realized, to some extent, that this childhood encounter was
normal, something experienced by countless children. It was what I
believed, what the enemy told me, about who I was as a result of
this, that shattered my spirit, that separated me from the peace of
God, that broke so many areas of my soul.
It
was the layers of lies that led me to believe that God was finished
with me, that I was irreparably broken. Once I spoke those words, God
set me free from the belief, and is taking me on a journey where I
deeply believe that my past does not have to define me, I don't have
to walk in shame, God can redeem the story of my life, and God has a
beautiful purpose and plan for my life.
There
is still sorrow in my for the years I lost, wondering who I would be
if the core part of me had not been shattered, walled off, closed
down. This lies I believed about my worth based on this childhood
experience not only brought me shame, it allowed me to walk into
areas of sin that added to my shame. Layer upon layer of guilt and
regret.
I
read a quote recently: Faith requires that you trust God that He
is at work in your life, even in the failures and hardships. I
find it much easier to believe that God is at work in the
difficulties thrown at me (loss of job, sick children, family
trouble), but struggle to believe that God wants to work through the
things I did, that God could love someone who experienced all I
experienced...
My desire is to get
to the point where I can believe with all my heart
Philippians 1:6
Being
confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in
you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.
We
are being completed. The sculpture of our lives is still in the hands
of the craftsman. We are still on the potter's wheel. And this
potter, this craftsman, is the lover of our souls.
This
year, this is the journey I hope to take with you. Will you walk with
me as I walk with you?
