Earthquake

When was the last time you were pressed by circumstances...and were surprised at what came out of you?
When was the last time you were hurt...and were shocked at the heat of your response?
When was the last time you cried deeply, or shouted, or withdrew, or turned again to the sin you thought you had banished?
I am discovering fault lines in my life...cracks within that are openings for the enemy, openings for lies to enter and dwell. I have been pressed lately, and I am seeing what lay dormant in my heart for years. Yuck! And yet, I can embrace the pain. It hurts good, you might say, because my desire is to be like Christ. My desire is to be transparent. Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place. Psalm 51:6. My inmost places have the capacity to be sin-riddled as long as they remain hidden, unknown by those around me. Sometimes, a mystery even to me. Until...the pressing comes. The hurt shocks. The misunderstanding takes my breathe away.
This fault line, this weakness, this unredeemed portion of my inner (wo)man, is revealed in the hard time. I have cried a lot over recent situations, many of them. Had many one-sided conversations. Been the "right" one in many daydreams. And realized that there is a root here that God is bringing to the surface in His infinite daddy-love. There is a lot of lie in my inner parts that only He, the truth-giver, can reveal.
I want the lie, the hurt, the shame, the brokenness to be removed. There is so much of life to be lived...a life that is good!! I live a different life when I allow my hurt to be the author of each day. God is the author of life...let's allow Him to do what He desires in each of us, then sit back and watch Him write GLORY over each moment of our lives. Our lives, lived in truth, for His glory.
That when pressed, we bleed love.
That when hurt, we offer grace.
That when the tears come, they bathe our soul and the offender in the love of the Healer.
This is my desire.