Some thoughts to ponder...

Hi, Ladies! Here are some thoughts from Rhoda as she has been reading and processing "A Confident Heart."

Ladies/Sisters
I have had these thoughts turning in my mind for weeks... So at last I am putting them down to share with you...

I started out reading a chapter every week or so of our book "A Confident Heart" in January but then... well ... Here it is May and I am at Chapter 6!  I find it is worth pressing on even at this slow rate.

In Chapter 5... "Living Beyond the Shadow of My Doubts" I found the the last paragraph on page 89 to capture my attention.  I quote:
    "When doubt washes over me, often it is because something has happened to trigger my old             emotions and create thoughts in my mind that are similar to those I had as a child.  Sometimes         that hurt little girl still has too much say in my heart.  If I listen to her, powerful yet immature             emotions from my past rise to the surface.  But they are not truth in my life.  The insecurities             from your past are not the truth in your life either.  ...."I realize I have been dealing with this very issue of past hurts that my little girl wants to put as current truth.  In order to move beyond I found I needed to take what Renee has said a step further.   In processing the past  the "little girl"  needed to be heard, validated and then have the Lord tell her the truth in order to move on to healing.  If we just "don't listen to the little girl" we are just suppressing the hurt and it will keep resurfacing.  The Lord is so gracious to help us look at our past and reveal what is truth so that we are able to move on to live with "a confident heart"!

Now on to Chapter 6 where I will learn to "get my good enough from Jesus"!!  And this is so timely for me as well! 

Learning to enjoy the journey to wholeness!
Rhoda Lehman
~~~~Charity again....I have been thinking about A Confident Heart recently....thinking about it, yet not reading it. It is always hard for me to pick up a book once I haven't read it for a while...yet this is a book that contains a message I need. So, I am going to pick up the book again this week, scan the chapter titles, and choose one that catches my eye. Maybe I will do this again next week, too. So, if like me you have lost momentum in reading, don't worry. Just go at your own pace, do what works for you...and let me know what ministers to you through your reading.

I need You to love me...

Some days, a song will draw me in, in a way it never has before. I will suddenly hear the familiar lyrics, and truly listen for the first time.
This morning I saw the cover of my journal where I had inked in the four themes for the ladies group this year.

Your past does not define you.

You don't have to walk in shame.

God can redeem the story of your life.

God has a beautiful purpose and plan for your life.

 

I didn't want to say anything about this theme because...well...haven't we moved on? Forgetting the past and pressing on to what lies ahead?

Yes. I am not who I once was.

And no...there are some days when I once again need to run headlong into my Father's embrace and hear the reassurance of His love without end.

It is on a day like today that I heard this song, a song that may perhaps be the cry of your heart. May it remind you that you are loved. Deeply......

 

I Need You To Love Me (Barlow Girls)

Thinking about Tuesday...

Hi~

What a beautiful day! Delton tells me it is nice outside, but the temperature on my indoor/outdoor thermometer is enought to keep me inside, socks on, drinking tea.

Delton and I- and Avi- got away this week to a CenPeCo meeting. While Avi slept one morning, I had time to read A Confident Heart. This time whet my appetite, making me wish I had hours and hours to study, journal, pray through, and assimilate all that I read...then craft a deep, hard-hitting, tear inducing blog to express just what you need to hear. I can't give them what they need. Someone else would do a better job at this... Can you tell that I need this book?

I am halfway through chapter 6- When Doubt Whispers "I'm Not Good Enough". I was aware of some areas where the enemy had a foothold in my life, where the familiar whispers of doubt continued to plague me. Yet, in reading these pages, and taking the time to listen to the whisper of the Spirit, I realized there were some deeper lies that I had been walking in. Deeper areas, more central to the core of who I am.

In other words, I was used to fighting off the enemy's lies about my worth based on how clean my house is or how I am doing with my eating...but this time I saw that these lies were just a shadow of some deeper lies. Lies about how I saw myself, lies about what situations in childhood had destroyed in me...It is hard to describe, and I don't have a complete handle on what I discovered...but I believe that I am on a journey toward hearing only the voice of the Beloved...a voice that has been drowned out by the voice of the enemy, by my own pain and regret.

I don't like the image of being broken, because life has taught me that items, once broken,  can never be fully restored. Yet, placing my life in the hands of the Master Potter, my Creator, gives me the assurance of safety. Break me, shatter me, mold me and make me...I place my life in your hands, to do with me as You desire.

~~~These are my thoughts, from my journey. We started out reading this book to journey together, to walk together into healing, into a better understanding of the Love of our soul. Tuesday evening we come together again at Charlene's house. Once again, we will enjoy some food and laughter (always laughter!!), and also an opportunity to hear more of the hears of the women we are walking alongside. Each of you has a story, a journey, a hope and a future.

Would you still come if I asked you to talk for a few minutes? Would you feel safe enough to share what these last few months have meant to you?

Please come. Please feel safe. Please ask God what He would have you share- the wisdom each of us will get only through each other.

 Until I see you again...blessings...

Charity

Different Season, Same Distractions

Some thoughts from Louise...

I don't know about things being much different no matter what season we are in concerning what time of day we spend with the Lord. I am in a different season than you, but I still find that I need to spend that time with the Lord early in the morning or it just don't get done. Otherwise other things clamor for my attention and it never happens. Besides I find that when I do that, then I have the Lord's strength to face the earthly challenges of the day. Also helps to keep me focused on the Lord's presence with me. Just sharing my thoughts from my experience.

and a comment from Karen...

I agree Louise, that is an advantage of being in the season we are in how about it.


I enjoy hearing from those who have already walked the road I am on! Thank you ~Charity

Distractions

I yelled at my phone this afternoon, right as Delton yelled at the computer. I had to laugh. This wonderful thing we call technology is not always a blessing. Rhoda recently sent me some thoughts on the subject, and I am sure we can all relate! ~Charity

From Rhoda...

 

 

Sisters in the journey,

I am responding to an earlier email from Renee Swope...

I checked my email as soon as I woke up. Then I made breakfast and checked it again. Had my devotional time and checked it again. Ran some errands and checked it on my phone. When I got home, I checked it once more.

I sensed the Holy Spirit nudging me to pause and ask myself, “Why do you keep checking your email?”

I wasn’t sure if it was God or me answering, but my thoughts intertwined with His Spirit whispered: You keep coming back because your heart longs for connection with a friend.

Yet no matter how many times I checked email, it was never enough to satisfy my craving....

..... I realized I’d let the pendulum swing too far and now I was checking email repeatedly, trying to fill a God-created need for relationships with a white screen and black alphabet keys.

My mind keeps remembering these words from Renee Swope as it keeps speaking to my heart as I navigate a life filled with "electronic sirens" calling for my attention (namely email, facebook, text and internet ). These tools keep me connected with grandchildren, friends, prayer requests and good Bible teachers; but how do I keep a balance in my life with real relationships? I am pressing in to being more sensitive to God's nudging on how to live this out.

Rhoda

~~~~~~~~~~~
A week or so ago, Amy sent me this email in response to my last post. It flows along with Rhoda's comments...

Charity, I too have days when I don't feel God as near and others where His presence just envelops me as I go about my daily routine. Some of that may have to do with my human ness and the fickleness of our emotions, hormones, etc. :) But I find, a big part of it for me, is with what I am saturating my mind. My thoughts, values, priorities, self esteem, joy, and peace are SO much determined by how much time I spend with God. I recently saw this quote....

and it really spoke to me.... I spent such a large part of my life being manipulated by the Devil and his lies and I didn't even recognize them. But now, if I find myself feeling confused, condemned, rushed, pushed, etc. I cry out to God and (in my mind) rebuke the devil, because I am NOT falling for his lies again.

I heard a sermon recently in which the evangelist said something to the effect of..... did you know the devil doesn't necesssarily hate us? The reason he is out for our damnation is because it is his (the devil's) best way to get at God, because we are what God loves the most! We are God's prize possession and the Devil is desperate to take us from God - by lying, maniputing, causing division, and on and on and on and on......

looking forward to seeing you sunday :), amy

~~~~~~
Prioritizing my time has been on my mind lately. Very simply, I sense a simple directive to seek God first. For me, this means reading my Bible and praying before anything else gets done in my quiet time. Before I check my schedule, read a blog, check facebook, respond to emails, call my mom or any other good thing, I first need to open my Bible and take time to talk to God. This is a unique season of life for me...I may only have a few minutes uninterrupted each day. If I don't first seek God, the moment is gone and so is my chance to be refreshed in my spirit. In another season, I may have hours of quiet where it may not matter whether my time with God comes first, second or third. Just a simple way that God is telling me that my time with Him is important to Him, and He is giving me the direction I need to make time with Him happen! Blessing to you today!! See you Sunday! ~Charity

Hearing in the Silence

I wrote the last post at the end of a long day. I felt bombarded, exhausted by a day fighting my old patterns, my own coping mechanisms. How do I break free from all I have ever walked in?
The next morning, somehow, God broke in. I read from Song of Solomons that I am the beloved of my Beloved. That I have ravished the heart of the One who seeks me.
As I pondered these thoughts from scripture, and the truth of what I had been reading in A Confident Heart,  I saw that my mind was full of many voices. I was unable to hear the call of the Bridegroom. I was listening to and agreeing with the lies of the enemy. No wonder I was lost!
Yesterday and today, my prayer has been, "God, let me hear only your voice." Over and over, morning, noon, and night, in the good moments and the bad, I am praying to hear only His voice. I am asking for silence in my spirit so that I may hear His whisper. I am asking for an unsatisfied hunger...a hunger that is awaiting the source of all fulfillment.
The previous post was written in faith. This post comes from one who has seen a glimpse of the One for whom her soul longs...

He speaks

   I listen

He calls

   I respond

He asks

   I assent

He draws

   I come

He sings

   I dance

He loves

      I worship 

 

I have been blessed by this song as I ponder the journey we are on.

Until Sunday, blessings. ~Charity

When I fail

It's not if I fail. It is when I fail. Daily. Even moment by moment. The little failures, the big failures...they combine to weigh me down.

When I am soaking in God's Word, carrying my burdens to Him, allowing Him to reveal to me my true worth...these failures are quickly forgotten, removed from me "as far as the east is from the west." And there are times and seasons that I walk in this close relationship with my Creator, that I sense His drawing, that I walk in His peace.

And there are times and seasons where I forget who I am. When God brings to the surface new levels of healing needed, and I am lost for a time. Needing God, yet blindly trying to find my own way.

It is to this sense of blindness, this inner "lost", that Renee speaks to in Chapter 3: Finding Love That Won't Fail Even When I Do. There are several quotes that stood out to me as I read...I will let Renee do the speaking...

Quotes from A Confident Heart, chapter 3

God is "the unconditional love you are looking for."

Until our hearts find complete security and significance in God's unconditional love, we will never be satisfied.

God put a longing for unfailing love in our hearts because He knew it would lead us back to Him. Only God's unfailing love will fill and fulfill the desires of our hearts. It is the deepest thirst of our souls. Until God's love is enough, nothing else will be.

Jesus invited her (Sam, the Samaritan woman) to worship Him in Spirit by offering to pour the living water of His Spirit into the well of her heart, filling the empty places in her soul.

By being honest about her life and the lies she believed, (Sam) could start turning toward the truth. She could bring the thirst of her heart to Him. Only then would she find confidence in the power of His love and start living in the security of His promises.

If we are doing well, we feel fulfilled. If we are not doing well, we feel empty and life we have less worth.

It's almost as though we wake up every morning with an empty jar, like Sam, and walk around holding it out to people or things, hoping they will fill us. We look to ___________________ to define us.

The wells of our hearts were created to be filled by God alone. The deepest thirst of our soul can only be quenched by Him.

So what do we do when our hearts start tossing and turning with emptiness and uncertainty? We need to stop and ask Jesus to help us see the worth we are placing in other things and the worth we are seeking in other people.

___________________________
This chapter reminded me (Charity) that I can not fix my brokenness. That the areas of hurt, the ways I seek to drown my pain, are areas where I need God. I look forward to reading more in the chapter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How far should you be in the book by now? I hope that this book is a blessing to each of you, and that you are reading it in the way that works best for you. I will post weekly (hopefully) as I read another chapter (hopefully)...but feel free to read this on your own schedule.

I began this blog hoping that it would facilitate an ongoing conversation among the women of the church. I invite you (and beg you :) please let us know how this book is stirring you, the journey you are on, thoughts that come to you as you read, quotes that ministered to you...and anything else that would be a blessing to those in our Lifegate family...from this book or in your own devotional life. Send me an email, and I will post it to this blog. Until we have a chance to laugh together again...blessings!

~Charity